


Vindicated

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode Related: The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg, M/M, Other: See Story Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Blair's unheard answer to Jim's reflections in "Vindication".<br/>This story is a sequel to Vindication.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vindicated

## Vindicated

by Elizabeth Clarke

* * *

It was a hell of a ride, Love. Sometimes I don't know how I managed it; I hope I did it with enough grace that you were'nt reminded every day of "The Sacrifice". No one should have to live with that. 

I wasn't a saint; don't make me into one now, just because I'm not there to irritate and annoy you. 

There's nothing wrong, or right, with money or recognition or celebrity. Those things measure accomplishment. They make more accomplishment possible. They were never an end in themselves; _you_ were my Holy Grail. I always knew that... 

You never had to prove anything to me. I never tried to prove anything to you. Love just _is_. It has its own ways of working itself out. 

You have to listen to its voice, Love. If you listen, and obey, it returns itself to you. Love is a glory and a fire that warms you from within and fills you even when the world is cold and wet and empty. To have your love returned... 

I know how hard the years have been for you. How hard it was to work and live with a liar self-professed. I know I forced you to live a lie as well. Please forgove me... I only wanted relief for you, and safety. We lived and loved and worked; we had a child. We had a granddaughter... You gave me joy...You made me your partner...You kept me by your side... I am still your partner, Love; I'm still beside you. I never meant my act of love to be a _gift_. 

There was no sacrifice. Jim Elliot said it : "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep, to keep what he cannot lose." So I gave up the world's respect. I kept my integrity. Your love was the gift... 

I watched what the world did to you, as you watched the world react to me. I saw your face when I came home from the academy and you saw the bruises. I heard you when you read my grades. I recognized the pain it caused you when my instructors treated me with the contempt they thought I deserved. 

In their eyes I did deserve it. They had no way of knowing otherwise. I could not _let_ them know otherwise. I'm so sorry. I couldn't fix it for you. No one could. I had the easy part... I knew who I was. No one could take that from me. No one could hurt me, unless they hurt you. I knew there were times you wanted to hate me. I knew you couldn't. There wasn't much you could hide from me anymore. And maybe, just at first, I wanted to hate _you_. 

Acceptance comes with understanding, and understanding increases love. How could I understand if I had not been there? 

That's marriage... I never wanted my love, or what I would do for that love to be a burden for you ... I never wanted you to _become_ anything....No one is ever worthy of love; it can never be earned. Love just is... 

Give our granddaughter my love; our love. Stand straight and tall for me when she gets her diploma, as I will stand beside you, l when you get ours. It was always _ours_... 

I will be there, Love; I never left. And am waiting... 

* * *

End Vindicated.

 


End file.
